HOLLYWOOD IF LOLLY WOULD

by Joseph “Gatorman” Kristoff

Originally posted: July 30-August 26, 2007


1.


1) (Dotty's house. The kitchen. Dotty, dressed in her pajamas, reads the Style section of the newspaper while eating a piece of sausage with a fork.)

Dotty: (thinking) Hmmmm! Montgomery's uncle Marty is coming back to shoot another film! American Sweetheart, starring Frenchy LeBeau and Danny Cotton.

2) (Dotty raises an eyebrow upon seeing Frenchy's name. She picks up a biscuit and takes a bite of it.)

Dotty: (thinking) Frenchy LeBeau?! She has a bad reputation! If there's one girl who's allergic to work, it's her!

3) (Dotty swallows. Her arm is propped up on the dinette, allowing her chin to rest on her fist, while the fingers on her other hand drum against the surface.)

Dotty: (thinking) No matter. If I dare show my face outside, Montgomery will pounce me, kiss me, hug me, telling me what a great girl I am. He's always like that whenever one of his favorite relatives comes over, and I like the attention, but he's way too rough...

4) (Then, Dotty peers out of the front door of the house, donning a lacrosse helmet and using a trash can lid as a shield.)

Dotty: Uhhhh, moose crossing? 


2.


1) (Outside Dotty's house. Dotty steps outside a bit more. We can see she is wearing even more protective gear to shield herself against Montgomery's pouncing: in addition to the lacrosse helmet and trash can shield, she has also donned shoulder, elbow and knee pads, as well as a chestguard for baseball catchers.)

Dotty: Easy, Dotty. Nothing bad's going to happen...I hope...

2) (Soon, a dot appears in the distance. Dotty turns around and notices the dot grow bigger.)

3) (A figure appears in the distance. It looks like Montgomery is charging directly towards Dotty. He is about to pounce, when...)

4) (He abruptly stops one foot from where Dotty is standing. Somehow, Dotty is not pleased.)

Montgomery: Hey Dotty! My Uncle Marty's coming over today! Isn't that amazing? Oh, and did you see the new treads on my boots? Makes me stop on a dime! (lifts his right boot and points to the treads on the sole)

Dotty: (displeased) I gussy myself up just for you, and you didn't even POUNCE me? Hmph!


3.


1) (Lolly's house, situated right next to the candy factory. Lolly, also seated at a dinette dressed in her nightgown and eating a bowl of cereal, looks through the paper. Schneider, Lolly's father, is eating a plate of scrambled eggs and sausage.)

Lolly: Hmmmmm. So Frenchy LeBeau's coming to town. I never cared for that girl.

Schneider: Hmm?

2) (Lolly tosses the paper down on the dinette.)

Lolly: Daddy...you really have no idea what she does. She has no responsibilities. She doesn't care about her schoolwork at all. All she does is party all the time, and her parents don't seem to care!

3) (Schneider finishes his breakfast, then leans in closer, listening to his daughter speak.)

Lolly: I know you won't live forever, Daddy, and when you die, I'm likely to inherit the factory. I want to be ready to continue the tradition of Keane Family excellence.

4) (Schneider reaches over to rub one of Lolly's ears. Lolly smiles from the rubbing.)

Schneider: That's why you're a wonderful daughter, Lolly. If only your mother had the same plans for you... 


4.


1) (A nursery. Schneider Keane, patriarch of one of the richest families in Green Meadow, goes back in time to tell Lolly what happened between him and her mother. In this panel we see Lolly, dressed in a pink shirt and shorts, white socks and pink Mary Jane shoes, aged 15 months, playing with blocks. She is able to stack the blocks five high, spelling out the word CANDY when read from top to bottom. Schneider is seen watching her play in this flashback.)

Schneider: When you were young, Lolly, you were a girl who just wanted to have fun. I worked the factory while moonlighting as your father, doing all sorts of fun things together.

2) (Schneider exits Lolly's nursery, into the living room. Rosanna, Lolly's mother, is seen relaxing sexily on the couch, dressed in a luxurious gown and reading a novel.)

Schneider: What a gifted young girl our daughter is, Rosanna. I think maybe we should let her inherit this place once we die.

Rosanna: Ha! Why work? She could just sell the factory and be set for life! Look at me, darling...millions of dollars, and I'm enjoying it! No sweat required!

3) (Schneider's smile fades. He is becoming annoyed. Rosanna bookmarks her novel and sets it down.)

Schneider: You're forgetting, Rosanna, who's sweating here. Who is providing the riches in this house? Who is making the money?

4) (Schneider has a seat on the couch and goes on the offense.)

Schneider: You know how much of a do-it-yourselfer I am. Do you know why we don't have any maids or butlers around?

Rosanna: (drops her novel) Because you're the only one to work for free? Oh, pick up that book for me, will you? That's a good darling.

Schneider: (present-day, narrating) And THAT, Lolly, is when things really started getting out of control. 


5.


1) (Flashback to the Keanes' living room, six years ago. By this time in the flashback, Lolly is now four years old. She is now wearing her trademark purple beret. She is seated on Schneider's lap as he has a conversation with her about responsibility.)

Schneider: (narration) Soon, the time came for you to learn RESPONSIBILITY.

Schneider: Lolly, you are getting all these things from us because we love you. However, with these gifts, with these riches, comes great responsibility. Eventually, you will learn to work hard and try the best you can...

2) (Schneider beeps Lolly's nose, smiling. Lolly giggles.)

Schneider: Because, my dear child, if you do, you'll wind up with all this.

Lolly: Heehee! Okay Daddy!

3) (Later, Lolly is seated in Rosanna's lap. Rosanna is lecturing Lolly about taking it easy.)

Schneider: (narration) That wife of mine had a different outlook on life. It's as if my money had corrupted her.

Rosanna: So, Lolly, RELAX! You don't need to get a job or anything! Just relax, and when we croak, you get everything! Isn't that lovely? Hmmm?

Lolly: Gee, I dunno, Mommy...I wanna do sump'n...

4) (Suddenly, Lolly is picked up by Schneider, smiling, although this smile appears forced. Lolly smiles upon seeing his father pick her up.)

Rosanna: HEY!

Schneider: Okay, Lolly, time to go to bed, sweetiepie!...I'll talk to you later, Rosanna...(narration) I had had all I could take from my wife. 


6.


1) (Flashback, six years ago. The Keanes' house. Schneider and his wife, Rosanna, are arguing loudly: Schneider over imposing Rosanna's spoiled ways on Lolly, and Rosanna over Schneider stopping her.)

Schneider: (narration) I don't know WHY I stayed married to Rosanna for so long...each of us had our own idea of what would be best for you. The disagreements were so bitter, so loud...

2) (Meanwhile, Lolly is in bed, crying, listening to her parents argue.)

Schneider: The fights were unbearable for you...something had to give, though, because I was through arguing.

3) (At a courthouse, Schneider and Rosanna stand before a judge, a sparrow dressed in black robes.)

Schneider: Three days later, I put my foot down. I filed for a divorce from Rosanna. The bad news was, I had to give her some of my money. I hope she's living a nice life now. I don't care, really.

4) (Schneider is seen carrying Lolly on his shoulders, smiling. Lolly giggles.)

Schneider: But the good news was, I won custody of you, and you couldn't have been happier...we did a lot more together, as I had more time for you. Although you spent some time with your mother, Lolly, you told me yourself she didn't care anymore. Eventually, the visitation stopped. 


7.


1) (The Keanes' house. A smiling Lolly leaves her bedroom, dressed. She has heard everything his father said about her mother while changing.)

Schneider: Well, Lolly, that's what happened...you were too young to remember what happened in your first years, but I stepped in and filled in those blanks.

2) (Lolly takes out her purple coat from the closet and removes it from the hanger. Schneider follows.)

Lolly: Daddy, I recall a quote from Frank Zappa...he said that in order to raise a nice kid, one had to talk to them like they are people instead of talking to them like they are property.*

3) (She puts on her coat and turns to Schneider.)

Lolly: I am proud to have you as a father...the way you brought me up, the conversations we have had...I remember it all. There's only one role model I have ever had, and will ever want to have...YOU!

4) (Schneider kneels down a little, as he and Lolly embrace.)

5) (Lolly and Schneider let go, as she takes her beret from the hat rack and puts it on.)

Lolly: Daddy, if it's all right, I'd like to join my friends at the train station and wait for Montgomery's Uncle Marty.

Schneider: Hehe. Go ahead. Be careful though!

6) (Lolly heads out. Schneider, smiling, looks outside and gives Lolly a wave.)

* Taken from an interview by Howard Stern, 1987. 


8.


1) (Green Meadow Airport. Nine children await Uncle Marty's arrival from California. Montgomery, Dotty, Zipper, Bingo, Woolma, Portia, Lolly, Flora, and Braker are seated at two different benches. They hear someone who has just come out of the double doors.)

Marty: (off-panel) Montgomery!

Montgomery: (ecstatic) Uncle Marty!

2) (Montgomery rushes into the waiting arms of Martin Lowe, a moose almost similar in appearance to his nephew, except for lighter brown fur and a pair of glasses worn around his eyes. He is also wearing a red sweater, greyish-blue pants, and brown shoes, and has brought along two pieces of rolling luggage.)

Montgomery: I missed you so much! Did you have any problems getting here?

Marty: Just a slight delay, but we're all right. Frenchy and Danny are on their way.

3) (Marty and Montgomery break out of their hug. Marty puts a hand to his ear. He hears something MASSIVE come his way.)

Marty: Oh no...FANATICS!

Montgomery: Everyone take cover!

Portia: EEK!

4) (Everyone backs into a corner, cowering from the stampede of fanboys and fangirls racing to the front of the gate to meet the film's stars, Frenchy LeBeau and Danny Cotton!) 


9.


1) (Green Meadow Airport. Montgomery, Uncle Marty, and assorted members of the GAG look on as a crowd of rabid fans rush Frenchy LeBeau, a poodle dressed in a red sequined blouse and mini-skirt, and Danny Cotton, a suave rabbit dressed in a white muscle shirt, blue jeans and brown boots. Frenchy and Danny have just come out of the gate.)

Montgomery: Gee, Uncle Marty. It must be tough to be a celebrity these days.

Marty: It's ALWAYS been this tough, Montgomery...

2) (Close-up view of Uncle Marty.)

Marty: ...think of how healthy Frank Sinatra would be today if he never had any fangirls to bother him!

3) (Woolma, Dotty, and Portia get to work on that theory.)

Woolma: (gasp!) The lack of attention would kill him!

Dotty: But you forget...Sinatra's been dead for years!

Portia: Frank Sinatra's DEAD?!

4) (The three girls wail loudly, as Montgomery looks up to Uncle Marty, smirking.)

Dotty/Woolma/Portia: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

Montgomery: Oh well. It's nice to know these girls are still into the classics!

Marty: Yeah. Not the answer I had in mind, but whatever you say, Montgomery...  


10.


1) (Green Meadow Airport. While Woolma, Dotty, Portia and Flora are fawning over Danny Cotton, co-star of the upcoming film American Sweetheart, Lolly confronts Frenchy LeBeau, the other co-star. She is leaning on the wall, chewing gum.)

Lolly: Miss LeBeau?

Frenchy: Yeah, kid? What do you want?

2) (Lolly takes off her beret and tilts her head...obviously she is anxious about asking a celebrity a tough question.)

Lolly: I understand you may inherit the entire LeBeau fortune once your parents pass away...any idea how you're going to manage all those restaurants? How about the baseball stadium, or those four radio stations in California?

3) (Frenchy scoffs at Lolly's question, closing her eyes and casually continuing to chew.)

Frenchy: Oh, kid, it's simple. I'll just find some darling hunk to marry and let HIM handle all the dirty work! Work's for suckers! Easy score, eh, girl? Uhhhh, girl?

4) (Frenchy turns around and sees Lolly join Dotty, Woolma, Portia and Flora in fawning over Danny. Frenchy glares at her.)

Lolly: (busy with Danny) Oh Danny, is it true that you did all those stunts in Over My Shoulder? I love a hard worker...(chitters softly) 


11.


1) (Downtown Green Meadow. A film crew is setting up for production of American Sweetheart, to be directed by Montgomery's uncle, Marty. As the scene opens, Marty is supervising the preparation. Some of the children watch.)

Marty: Dolly! Set up your film! Aaron, make sure the set is cleared. We don't want any unexpected extras showing up!

2) (Marty turns to the children viewing the preparation. He kneels a little.)

Marty: Well, children, I offered you roles in my first film...how'd you like to do it again?

3) (All twelve children beam in excitement at the prospect of being on film.)

Gang: WOULD WE! ALL RIGHT!

4) (Marty turns to one of his staff, a rooster, who's carrying a ladder.)

Marty: Oh, Aaron, get Susan on the line and make out a dozen checks for $516.32...if there's gonna be one moose who'll fatten their college funds, it'll be ME! 


12.


1) (A playground. The twelve children gather there, along with Uncle Marty and his staff. Marty has offered the children roles as extras in his new movie.)

Marty: What I would like for you children to do is to just play. Don't pay attention to the cameras. Act natural, and don't try to ham it up, please.

Montgomery: Okay, Uncle Marty, we won't!

2) (Uncle Marty hears a snoring sound coming from the playground.)

Marty: Huh? Who's there?

3) (Marty, Montgomery, Zipper and Dotty walk over to source of the snoring.)

4) (They find Catchum and Leland sleeping on a bench. Catchum is laying on his back, while Leland is lying atop Catchum's stomach, as there is no room for him. Montgomery facepaws.)

Catchum/Leland: zzzzzzzzzzz...

Montgomery: Even when they're being innocent, they ruin scenes! 


13.


1) (The playground. Catchum and Leland, sleeping on the bench just a few moments ago, have woken up. Uncle Marty has offered them a chance to appear as extras in his film.)

Catchum: So, let me get this straight: you're each giving us $500 just to act natural?

Marty: (smiles) That's right. Just go on about your business, and let the cameras do the rest.

2) (Catchum wraps an arm around Leland and looks at him, happy he's being given an opportunity to appear on film.)

Catchum: Who knew sleeping on the job would prove to be so lucrative?

Leland: (flickers tongue)

Marty: (laughs)

3) (The kids go to various spots on the playground. Bingo pulls out his bag of marbles. Flora gets out a jump rope from an equipment shed. Others go to a jungle gym. Catchum and Leland lay back down and resume their nap. Marty communicates through a megaphone.)

Marty: All right, everyone, places, please! This is a take! Quiet on the set!

4) (Marty gestures to the kids, pointing at them while speaking through the megaphone.)

Marty: And ACTION! 


14.


1) (The playground. The children act naturally, playing on various objects. Marty is filming them in order to set the opening scene of the movie. Montgomery is swinging on the bars of a jungle gym.)

2) (Lolly and Flora are twirling a jump rope, while Bernice does all the jumping. In the background, Catchum and Leland are sleeping soundly on the bench.)

3) (Dotty spins Woolma on a merry-go-round. Woolma giggles loudly.)

4) (Bingo and Portia are playing marbles. They are both kneeling on the dirt surface. Bingo aims his shot at several other marbles within the playing field.)

5) (Bingo flicks the marble with his thumb. It is an errant shot that not only misses the target, but...)

(thock!)

Zipper: (off-panel) Oof!

Marty: And CUT! Print that! Well done, children!

6) (Bingo picks up his marbles after the take is finished. Zipper stands next to Bingo, arms folded, a marble up his left nostril. Portia does a take.)

Bingo: That was fun! If acting is this easy, then send me a contract!

Zipper: (tapping Bingo on the shoulder) Uhhh, Bingo...

15.


1) (The playground. Bingo has shot a marble so hard it wound up in Zipper's nostril. Portia and Lolly look on.)

Zipper: Grrrrr...gotta get this marble out.

2) (Zipper presses a finger against his right nostril, then BLOWS through his nose, shooting the marble out at high velocity.)

3) (The marble ricochets off a tree, back towards Zipper.)

(thock!)

Zipper: Oof!

4) (The cat's-eye marble has hit Zipper in the left eye. His eyelid is slammed shut to avoid serious damage, although it looks like Zipper's eye is still open, due to the appearance of the marble. His right eye is still open. He glares at Bingo as Bingo giggles at Zipper.) 


16.


1) (Frenchy's trailer. She is seen pacing back and forth, seething over being snubbed by Lolly and the other Get Along Girls. Danny, seated on a couch, watches.)

Frenchy: That stupid, insolent squirrel...how dare she make a fool out of me at the airport!

Danny: Maybe she has a line of credit and you don't?

Frenchy: Oh, SHUT UP!

2) (Frenchy strokes her chin, in deep thought.)

Frenchy: She has an entourage...a ewe, a dog, a vixen, a porcupine, a bear and a bunny...must be her friends.

3) (Frenchy has it. She grins evilly. Danny looks in, disinterested.)

Frenchy: I can win them over...old-fashioned smear always destroys your enemies! Sure, she may be a runt, but so long as I increase my fanbase!

Danny: (so-what-style) You DO realize no-one's listening to you, you know!

4) (Danny is chased out of the trailer by Frenchy. She throws a hairbrush, a purse, and a vase at him, among other things!)


17.


1) (Under a tree near the playground. The seven Get Along Girls are seated in a close circle with Lolly seated at the 12 o'clock position. Going clockwise: Flora, Dotty, Portia, Hocus, Woolma, and Bernice. They are all listening to Lolly with their undivided attention.)

Lolly: (offering advice) ...and soon, people from all walks of life will look up to you...a role model for the new generation of women!

2) (The girls applaud Lolly's advice, as Danny Cotton walks toward them.)

Lolly: Oh, good evening, Mr. Cotton! Looking forward to the filming?

Danny: (not too pleased) So long as that unhinged co-star of mine isn't breathing my air, it'll be heaven!

3) (The girls look at each other, unable to comprehend what Danny meant.)

Dotty: Huh?

Danny: (to Lolly) Apparently, miss, Miss LeBeau wants to destroy you...she wants to spread lies to your friends so you won't have them any more.

Flora: I see. It's sad when a grown woman wants to pick a fight with a ten-year-old.

4) (Portia strikes upon a plan!)

Portia: "Fight"?...FIGHT! I have an idea!

Bernice: Brilliant! I KNEW Portia would come through with something! What is it, Portia? TPing her trailer? Bucket of water on the head?

Portia: Ugghh. No, something better! Listen...

18.


1) (Near the playground. Frenchy, steamed, walks across the playground to look for Lolly herself. As she walks further, she hears the sound of girls yelling.)

Frenchy: (urf?)

2) (She takes cover behind a tree and witnesses the scene: Lolly is being bullied by her friends! Dotty, Flora, Woolma, Bernice, Portia and Hocus all gather around in a circle and jeer Lolly as she is being pushed around.)

Frenchy: (thinking) What on earth...? And I thought I was going to do the work myself! That squirrel isn't as goody-goody as I thought!

3) (Dotty shoves Lolly into Bernice. Bernice shoves her to Flora, who then pushes her to Woolma. The shoving causes her beret to fall off her head and on to the ground. Lolly is crying loudly, imploring them to stop.)

Lolly: Please! Stop it! (sobbing)

Frenchy: (thinking) Maybe Danny DID something for a change, perhaps? Or maybe she really DOES have skeletons in that closet of hers. Ah well. I don't care, and I don't want to know!

4) (Dotty and Bernice drag Lolly into an equipment shed, while Flora, Woolma, Portia and Hocus follow. Frenchy decides to get a good look.)

Frenchy: (thinking) The floor show, however, is intriguing! 


19.


1) (By the equipment shed. Frenchy listens in on the action taking place behind closed doors. Dotty, Flora, Bernice, Woolma, Portia and Hocus, after pushing Lolly around, have dragged her into the equipment shed and closed the door.)

Lolly: EEK! Hey! What're you doing? What're you gonna do with that mulch?! HEELP—mmmph!

2) (Inside the shed. All the girls are in on the joke! Lolly is covering her mouth and making muffling noises, as if the girls are stuffing mulch in her mouth. The others are smirking and/or trying to stifle giggles.)

Bernice: (smirking) I'll teach you to mess with us!

3) (Frenchy winces and shudders as she hears what sounds like Bernice kicking Lolly in the stomach. Lolly makes whining and sobbing noises.)

Bernice: Take THIS! And THIS!

Lolly: (sobbing) mmphhhh...mmnnmph...

4) (Flora tries to hold in a giggle as Bernice is shown, kicking a burlap sack full of sand! Hocus waves a magic wand towards Lolly. Lolly grins.)

Hocus: Oh magic, do your thing! Pins and needles, needles and pins... 


20.


1) (The equipment shed. The girls pretended to beat Lolly up to make Frenchy think Lolly's "secrets" had been revealed. Frenchy pounds on the door, demanding she be let in. Dotty locates a window.)

Frenchy: Let me in! What are you doing to her?

Dotty: (whispering) Hey! Out that window!

2) (The six girls open the door and slowly walk out, shaking their heads. Bernice sighs.)

Frenchy: Now where IS she? Where is that squirrel?

Bernice: I'm afraid she's gone to the (points downward) OTHER place now, Miss LeBeau.

3) (Frenchy rushes inside the toolshed and notices Lolly has disappeared. She is flabbergasted, as Hocus, Bernice and Dotty walk back inside.)

Frenchy: Sh...she's GONE! You made her disappear! But...HOW?

4) (A smirking Hocus answers by blowing on her magic wand as if it were the barrel of a smoking gun.)

Hocus: There's no telling you THAT. It's MAGIC. (blow!) 


21.


1) (The park. Uncle Marty and his crew are filming a scene from his upcoming film. A camera is shown panning around the scene as some actors—Danny and a leopard, who is playing Danny's friend in the movie—are acting away. Lolly, hiding from Frenchy, quickly ascends a tree located behind a camera.)

Lolly: (thinking) Squirrel instincts, kick in!

2) (Lolly carefully shimmies across a thick branch while filming is in progress.)

Leopard: (off-panel, acting) What fascinates you about that girl, anyway?

Danny: (off-panel, acting) The way she cooks...

3) (The branch starts to crack and creak. Lolly gasps, hanging on to the branch.)

Leopard: (off-panel, acting) No way! How can you say that when you've never even been inside her house?

Danny: (off-panel, acting) The last three girlfriends I went through couldn't cook. I can't do it alone, after all. You could say the fourth time around, I'm DUE for a culinary expert!

Leopard: (off-panel, acting) You're a fool, dude.

4) (Uncle Marty speaks through the megaphone.)

Marty: Cut! That's good enough, you two! Take five!

5) (Lolly loses her grip on the branch and falls, landing right on Uncle Marty!)

Lolly: EEK!

Marty: OOF!

6) (Marty is laying flat on his stomach as Lolly is seated on his back. Marty speaks into his microphone, very dazed.)

Marty: On second thought, you two, take thirty...ohhhhhhh...

Lolly: Woopsie. (blush) 


22.


1) (The park. Uncle Marty tries to get up after Lolly loses her grip on a tree branch and falls on top of him. Lolly helps him up. Montgomery looks on.)

Marty: Oof...thanks...now would you mind telling me what's going on?

Lolly: Aww. Sorry, Mr. Lowe, but I was trying to avoid Frenchy LeBeau.

2) (Marty raises an eyebrow. Lolly rubs her right leg, a little sprained after the fall.)

Marty: Frenchy? What did she do, Lolly?

Lolly: Well, Mr. Lowe, she wanted to destroy my friendship with the other girls by creating stories about me.

Marty: (shakes head) Tsk tsk tsk.

3) (Lolly looks up, inferring from Marty's tongue-clucking that she may have engaged in dirty tricks before. Danny approaches.)

Danny: It's true, Marty. I was in her trailer, listening to her hatch her plot. I told the girls before anything got done.

Marty: (smiling) Good! You deserve a raise, then! Uhhh, uhhh, uhhh...what can I give you?

Lolly: (reaches into the inside right pocket of her dress jacket)

4) (Lolly pulls out four lollypops of various colors: red, yellow, green and blue! Danny beams as Marty and Montgomery smile in satisfaction.)

Danny: COOL! SWEET TOOTH TIME!


23.


1) (The park, where the movie is being filmed. Frenchy heads back to the set, still in search of Lolly. He sees Danny, licking on a lollypop.)

Frenchy: ?

2) (Frenchy pokes Danny on the shoulder. Danny turns and faces Frenchy.)

Frenchy: Danny, just what are you doing?

Danny: Lickin' a lollypop.

3) (Frenchy scratches her head.)

Frenchy: Well, where did you get that? I'd like one.

Danny: (extends thumb backward) Ask her. She may have what you want.

Frenchy: All right! I'll just...

4) (Then, Frenchy sees Uncle Marty, Montgomery, Lolly, and her father, Schneider, glare at her. Danny continues licking his lollypop casually.)

Frenchy: Uhhhh, how many lollypops do you need to sweep this incident under the rug? 


24.


1) (The park. Uncle Marty, furious at Frenchy for her dirty tricks, advances slowly toward her. Frenchy backs up a little.)

Marty: What gives YOU the right to fool around with someone half your age, Frenchy? And with one of my nephew's friends, even!

2) (Marty remains on the offensive. All Frenchy can do is just stand there and watch.)

Marty: I've had enough! Shooting delays because you keep primping away...your excessive demands...and now this! I've HAD it, Frenchy!

3) (Frenchy growls at Marty.)

Frenchy: (defiant) Just a moment, BUB! Do you have any idea who I am?

4) (Marty walks away, smirking.)

Marty: Sure...an out-of-work actress! You're FIRED!

Frenchy: (gasp!)


25.


1) (The park. Dotty, Flora, Woolma, Portia, Bernice and Hocus rush over to Lolly.)

Dotty: Lolly! Are you all right?

Lolly: (smiling) Couldn't be better, now that Frenchy isn't here to kick us around. Listen, girls...I don't know how I can repay you for what you did.

2) (Lolly puts one arm on Dotty's shoulder, and the other on Flora's.)

Lolly: If Frenchy got to you before Danny, I would have been scared. I would have been worried you girls would end the friendship.

3) (Flora giggles.)

Flora: Not as long as we listen to what YOU have to say, Lolly.

Dotty: We trust you. After all, we're your friends.

4) (The three of them hug and smiles. Uncle Marty and Montgomery look at each other and smile contentedly.)

Lolly: Thank you, girls.

Marty: Come on, Montgomery. I feel like getting some ice cream. 


26.


1) (Hoofnagel's Ice Cream. Marty and Montgomery are seated at the front, where Mr. Hoofnagel tends to them.)

Mr. Hoofnagel: All right, gentlemen, you say you wanted a banana split and some chocolate ice cream. Coming right up!

2) (Mr. Hoofnagel prepares the ice cream while the two moose chat.)

Marty: Just doesn't seem possible, Montgomery. Every time I try to direct a film, something ALWAYS happens.

Montgomery: Don't feel too bad, Uncle Marty. These things are beyond your control.

3) (Marty shakes his head.)

Marty: First, that bank frame-up, and now THIS. Montgomery, can I give you some advice?

Montgomery: Sure, Uncle Marty. What is it?

Marty: If you ever direct a film...

4) (Mr. Hoofnagel serves the ice cream to the moose. They both dig in!)

Marty: Make sure everyone is completely SANE first, because someone may bite you! 


27.


1) (Hoofnagel's Ice Cream shop. Montgomery and Marty are eating ice cream while having a conversation.)

Montgomery: So now what will happen with your film, Uncle Marty?

Marty: Nothing to worry about, Montgomery.

2) (Marty smiles as he wipes his mouth with a napkin.)

Marty: The company will work something out. I'm thinking of having the editor cutting out all her scenes once I get back to L.A. and reshoot there using a different leading lady. She didn't do that many in Green Meadow, so there is no point in returning to Green Meadow to reshoot.

3) (Montgomery nods.)

Montgomery: So does that mean our scene stays in the picture?

Marty: (laugh) Ohhhhhh, Montgomery...of course!

4) (Montgomery hugs Uncle Marty!)

Montgomery: Thank you, Uncle Marty. If I ever get into pictures someday, it will be all thanks to you!

Marty: Heh. Quite welcome, my nephew.


28.


1) (Green Meadow Airport. Marty, Danny, and the children are there. Uncle Marty and Montgomery hug each other as they say goodbye.)

Marty: You take care of yourselves. The film should be out next month, and I'm sure all of you will watch it!

Dotty: If only movie tickets weren't so expensive!

2) (Marty laughs heartily. Danny shakes Lolly's hand as they exchange goodbyes.)

Lolly: Thank you for saving my skin, Mr. Cotton. You are my new favorite actor.

Danny: Awwwww, well, thank you, Lolly!

3) (The hand of a poodle—Frenchy's—yanks Danny towards the airplane.)

Danny: Yiiiiiikes! See ya!

Lolly: (giggle!) Byebye!

4) (Uncle Marty picks up his suitcases and starts to head down the passageway towards the plane.)

Marty: Byebye, Get Along Gang! I'll see you all later!

Gang: Bye, Uncle Marty!

5) (The Gang smiles. They all turn and start to walk out together.)

Bingo: Lolly?

Lolly: Yes, Bingo?

Bingo: Tell me the truth. Am I number one in your book?

Lolly: Why, of course, Bingo! Why do you ask?

6) (Bingo smirks at Lolly. Lolly giggles, as they all walk down the hill towards the Caboose.)

Bingo: Whew. For a minute there, I thought I had to do some acting to win you over!

Montgomery: But we DID, remember? We ALL did. Even Catchum and Leland did as well!

Dotty: Probably the only acting they KNOW how to do!

(Everyone laughs.)